Saturday, October 29, 2011
Where's Your Joy?
Oh my, has too much time gone by! I am now at the end of my pregnancy, (so much for having all that time to blog...), and boy am I ready to be. There have been many times that thoughts have crossed my mind like, "I need to blog about that." Something about being able to just get it out that makes me feel at peace. A lot has happened in such a short amount of time. We have started our new year of home schooling, my sister has moved out (the one who had a ruptured brain aneurysm almost a year ago), and we are having a baby...a boy!
And in all of this I have struggled. Lost my site of "the joy preceding the miracle". Got trapped in a hole of darkness, bitterness, and resentment. Tired. Just tired. I seem to have lost that joy centered attitude. It seems joy is second nature for some. For me it is definitely something I have to conscientiously focus on. It is so much easier for me to get swept up in the chaos and stress of everyday life. The girls schooling, the bills, the mundaness of laundry and dinner (Is that even a word? Well, when it comes to laundry it is!)
It just seems to be easier for me to fall back into that monotonous cycle and forget to "be joyful in all things." Really God? Joyfully searching for that missing sock that the dryer monster must have ate? You mean be joyful that I vacuumed this morning and between the crackers and the chips I need to vacuum again by the afternoon? Be joyful that we are already THREE weeks behind our home school schedule? Yes, yes and YES! The joy I find when staring at a sink full of dishes sure is hard for me to find.
But I'll tell you what. My little six year old brings me back on a daily basis. I often say she is Jesus on earth. She has a true servant heart and thinks about others always. There have been many days that she is up to the sink washing dishes because "I just know it is hard for you with your big belly Mom." Many times she comes to me out of the blue and says, "Is there anything I can do for you Mom?" She's vacuumed, rotated laundry, folded and put away clothes. She's even tied my shoes for me.
Never once complaining that she wasn't the one who made the mess. Never once huffing and puffing. But with an eager heart to serve and being so joyful about it!
"Lord, give me the heart of my six year old. That I can be joyful and eager in all that I do, giving You the the glory, being the example to my girls and a better wife for my husband."